Depression

What I've learnt today: Never, ever underestimate people. And by people that means yourself too!

The last week and a half I have been incredibly slack and putting off doing much crafting because I don't feel well, or I'm tired, or I can't be bothered getting things out just to put them away again a few hours later (I'm not lucky enough to have my own dedicated craft space :( Sad I know...)

Well today I made progress with myself. I stopped underestimating my own powers of weasling out of doing things and I wrote a very specific to do list. I promised myself that if I got at least 5 things (about half the list of not very big jobs) done then I could read or lounge for a bit of my day. (I work split shift)

So after some procrastinating I got stuck into my list and the funny thing is I got my 5 done and then I kept going because I was on a roll.

And one of the things on my list was to get help and call Headspace. They are a service for people aged between 12 to 25 that can give you access to mental health information, counselling, sexual health advice and specialised GP, as well as drugs and alcohol counselling and lots of other things.

I've made an appointment with them because I have a mental health barrier which stops me from having positive mental health. I reached out because I have a very bad habit of bottling problems up and "dealing" with them "later"... So not healthy.

I have mood swings, trouble getting to sleep, then once I am asleep, actually STAYING asleep. When I wake up I'm always tired, I'm easily irrated and I loose interest in things easily like sex... Which makes things worse when my partner and I argue about the lack of because then I feel worse about myself and the fact the I've lost interest and my guilt over it is crippling.

This is just the tip of the daily iceberg of issues... But I am seeking help. My appointment is in two weeks. In the mean time I will motorvaye myself to at least blog more if not actual get a tuoriak going.

Wish my luck blogospehere!
Also if there are others of you out there that feel like this or worse please comment below and let me know how your going and we can support each other.

I will finish this post with my favourite Yoda quote (of which I'm always reminding myself)

"Great power in you, there is."

Scrapbooking

The above picture is one I snapped of a new tool that recently come in at my local scrapbooking store...

It's only $30 but it says it creates stickers , which depending on the quality and type and what they're made on (ie how expensive it's other neccessary materials are), this could quite marvellous for my sticker obsession and scrap booking. I am always looking for, and buying, stickers but they are not always destined for scrapbooking or use at all. (I have a tendency, that my partner finds hilarious, to buy pretty, arty sets of stickers and then leaving them untouched in their packets, prop them up against things for cheap but cute art.)

Daily that isn't so daily

What I've learnt today: Sometimes no matter how many chances you give a person there is a certain point at which after that... It's probably best to give up.... Especially when your reminding yourself of a broken record....

Long time, no blog...

For the last month's I have been quite severely down, bordering on depression... I am still working at my moods to improve them and be able to be happy again but also more importantly- I'm working to be happy with myself as I am...

Recently learning that a couple of my biggest idols also battle constantly with both inner demons and body image has really helped but I know that I'm not going to recover in a blink... I've spent years tearing myself down so it stands to reason that I'll be working for years to build up my self confidence, self respect and body image again...

Eleannor Roosevelt was quoted quite famously with a my favourite.
"No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent"